My buddy Boanus mentioned yesterday how awful it would be if I had anything to do with talking about science, seeing how it is a topic, much like pokemon, that I know nothing about. And so in light of that and my love of getting in way over my head, I am switching up the posting around here by blogging about science.
This is going to be just one post of hopefully a few (five?) in which I talk completely from memory about things I can kind of count as science, or at least apply the term 'science' conceptually to.
Okay, that's bullshit I'm already planning about talking about Henry VIII and that sure as fuck is not science. But I'm going to call it science because it's, like, facts or whatever. History/Science? One of em I majored in! The other I definitely did not.
Here's your first installation of Science with Paulie.
✵✷✶ SIR ISAAC NEWTON ✶✷✵
This guy was a scientist with some great hair.
look at those locks! these bitches be flowing like rivers
His hair alone is possibly an overlooked science in itself. Like, have you ever been to the 17th century? Bad bad hair. Bad hair. And somehow, this guy managed to not look like an insane cocker spaniel. Even though, like, maybe he was a bit crazy. Cause you can only have so much smart without some series issues elsewhere. There's only so much brain to go around, right?
So I dunno, I guess he did the gravity thing. That's what he's famous for, and that's what we learn about in school as kids. Apples = Isaac Newton / Johnny Appleseed. It's science. It's gravity! Which is still somehow pretty much just a theory technically or something? Even though gravity is pretty hard to disprove. I dunno. I don't waste my time with this shit, but I'm also not like floating in the air right now. So who knows what the deal is. Probably no one.
Then he figured out rainbows and studied the bible... and after that, that's when he stopped dicking around and got into the really good stuff.
You see, he developed this cool theory that all those old Greco-Roman myths were actually alchemical codes. Yeah! And so he got into alchemy, guided by ancient codes that would help him turn things into other things. Like basically gold, I think, is the point of alchemy. And good hair? Hair serums. For vitality and luster.
Luckily for him, alchemy wasn't really considered that dodgy back at the end of the 17th century. It was kind of just like early chemistry because of the whole bunsen burners and... solvents and things. Sulfur. Fire. But it was pretty legit, so while he was kinda hermity and steeped in the occult and obsessing over finding codes in things that aren't codes, I don't think he got any hate, really. I mean, you gotta let weirdos do their thing for a while cause one day they're gonna bust out of that room and be like hey--GRAVITY and hey--COLORS and shit and you're gonna be like WOW what am I doing with my life? Why am I a well-adjusted human being with a social life?? I'm contributing nothingggggg.
There are some rumors that he totally did succeed in turning lead into gold. I know we can do it now, but it turns out to be so expensive that it's totally a waste of time/money/etc, so if Newton could do it way back when, Good Job. And thank you for gravity. I can't imagine this beautiful world without it.
these are his coat of arms! which I am super jealous of cause bones are so classy
If you have any 'science' suggestions, please throw them my way in the comments or on twitter. I need help. Like... a lot of it.